Why is it sometimes anger takes over all our emotions and we rail out at the people inside our circle in what maybe at the time we felt was justified rage and anger? Truth is pouring out all that anger and frustration on another fellow human being ends badly.

Words raged out are hard to take back. Our family, our partners, and even those who we treat with disrespect eventually see our rage as taking over who we are and who we want to become.

In the quiet of the early morning or the hush before bedtime, many of us reflect on the way we speak to the ones we love. Often, we carry the weight of words spoken in anger, or moments where our temper overpowered our intention to be kind. In these moments of reflection, we may find ourselves asking, How can I treat my family like I truly love them?

Understanding the Fire Within

Anger is a natural emotion. It signals when something feels unjust, unsafe, or overwhelming. But when it burns unchecked, it can leave behind scorched relationships, especially with the people closest to us—our family.

In Indigenous ways of knowing, there is a teaching that emotions are not to be rejected, but understood. Anger, when explored with gentleness, can be a doorway into deeper self-awareness. We ask ourselves: What am I really feeling beneath this anger? Am I hurt? Am I tired? Am I afraid?

Creating a Pause

One of the most powerful tools we have is the ability to pause.

Before the words leave your mouth, before the door slams, before the frustration spills over—pause.

That moment of silence, that breath, is a sacred act. It is the space where love re-enters. A short walk, a few deep breaths, or even stepping outside to feel the earth under your feet can help bring your spirit back to balance.

Speaking from a Place of Love

Our families deserve our best words.

They deserve to hear that they are loved, even when things are hard. When we shift from reacting to responding, our words become medicine.

Instead of raising your voice, lower it. Instead of harshness, try softness. Say things like:

• “I’m feeling overwhelmed right now, but I want us to talk calmly.”

• “I love you, and I don’t want to hurt you with my words.”

• “Can we take a break and come back to this with a clear heart?”

These are not just phrases—they are acts of care, small ceremonies that repair the thread of connection.

Practicing Patience Daily

Patience is not a trait we are born with; it is a skill we cultivate. Like tending a fire, it requires attention and practice. Some days will be easier than others. What matters is not perfection, but the intention to grow.

Create daily habits that support a calm mind—morning reflection, journaling, time in nature, or simply sharing a quiet moment with your loved ones. The more you nourish your own spirit, the more gently you can show up for others.

Returning to the Circle

Family is a circle—sometimes tight, sometimes strained, but always sacred. When we treat our family members like we love them, even in difficult times, we restore the balance of that circle. We honour not only them, but ourselves.

Let every day be a chance to begin again—with kindness, humility, and love.